Snapshots of Life - Doing Right by Each Other

 I was listening to this as I typed this  post and can highly recommend it if a smile on your dial is what you need right now!

I was walking out of a cafe the other day, juggling my wallet and keys in one hand and my coffee and bagel in another. On the other side of the glass door, I spotted an adorable couple. Both seemed to be in their early 80's but going by the air they exuded, they could have well been in their 20's and taking a walk in Florence midst the fresh Spring flowers. In that moment when I spotted them, they were absolutely lost in each others company and smiling over something she said. What really melted by heart though was this - the old gentleman was holding her hand in one hand and her handbag in the other. "I want that," I thought. One day...I really do want that. 

This isn't a photo of  'my couple'. But they sure are cute too! #Oldlove

Anyway, I shook myself out of my reverie long enough to put my things down on a nearby table and open the door for them. The gentleman thanked me and his wife looked up with twinkling eyes to do the same. He saw me pick up my stuff as I went to head out, paused and said, "Let me get the door for you, young lady. You did right by us and I'll do right by you," he said in a thick Australian drawl.  "I'll do right by you". What an absolute great way of verbalizing an act of reciprocation!

That truly made my day. And got me to thinking about  a whole lot things but mainly about acknowledging not just actions, but kind words and thoughts as well. The idea of doing right by each other not just for the sake of returning a favour, not because it's dignified but because in the scheme of things it really might be the silver lining in someone else's bad day. Of not being shy about thanking kind strangers or even the overworked snappy ones and reaching out regularly and letting loved ones know that you know that they are there and what they do for you, matters. Of not just being the recipients of good things but they initiators too. Be it an inspiring message for the downtrodden, a care package for someone who's sitting exams, or just a cup of coffee made exactly the way someone likes it. Unexpected treats and remembrances are the best!

More than words, and sometimes in the absence of them, affection is something that is all too clear in the things loved ones do for us. Coming from quite an expressive family I sometimes fail to read the silences but after a particular incident, it is something I am conscious of now.  I had just finished telling my 'Yemeni Guru' a particularly 'whiney' story about a weekend I had spent with a highly strung aunt. We just functioned on such different levels and I constantly felt that I was disappointing and frustrating her. Because she isn't the type to verbalize her 'softer' emotions, I also felt that she didn't particularly like me. My friend listened to my complaints and calmly asked me to repeat the things my aunt had done for me, especially in my early Australian days. The list was quite long. "Is that not love? Everything she's done, is that not out of a place of where you are loved?". I could only answer in the positive. To this day and probably till the end of my days, I will be greatly indebted to my wise friend for showing me the error of my ways because I chose then to write a heartfelt email to my aunt, thanking her not just for the weekend but for everything she did for me. She was leaving for a holiday the next day and one she had to cut short because of health complications. She was diagnosed with breast cancer about a month after I sent that email. Two harrowing years later, she is on the path of recovery and is in remission. I can only wonder what our relationship would be like today had I not been able to see the love in her actions. Right now, we share a great relationship, one in which I know that regardless of how she comes  across, she really is one of the kindest indviduals I have ever met.

The reward for simply getting out of our own humdrum for a while and just doing 'right' by each other is immense. Doing right by simply recognizing the effort others put in. Life truly is way too short to not to. If the conspiracy theorists have it right, the Mayan calendar ends in 2012 (:p) and the ones that you love should never know the painful doubt of wondering if you do.

That's me for today. Exam week is upon me but I wish everyone nothing but the best for the remainder of a pretty lil season called Spring.

The Carpet That Was Actually a Wishing Well

Firstly, Happy Spring! With this new season, I have decided to shed unnecessary pressure and set realistic goals instead.  Because I am currently short on time and lack an organised approach to writing and editing, I have decided to do something that comes more easily to me and that doesn't require much effort. I think I'm going to call it my 'Snapshots from Life' series. I don't know if I am going to be consistent yet but I do like the idea of recording one of two incidences from my daily life that have made a mark on my memory. 

Coming up to graduation now, I am almost nostalgic and want to record my favourite memories from College that I might otherwise forget. The first one that I can think of dates back to my first year of Law School. It was also my first semester and after receiving a somewhat disappointing grade on my essay, I made an appointment to see my lecturer to get feedback and tips on improvement. He was and actually still is one of my favourite academics by virtue of how approachable he is. We had been conditioned to lecturers that would drone on from behind their lecterns, their faces pale against the white screen projecting neatly typed and formatted notes. But not him. He of the jovial manner, would almost flounce into class (almost always late) and go about talking about Contractual cases as if they were bedtime stories complete with flow charts. He asked questions and answered the ones we asked with good humour  peppered with personal anecdotes about his work experience, life, kids etc. All with not one Powerpoint presentation in sight. He convinced us that an academic - world class in his case-  could be a genius and still be down-to-earth. A rare occurrence in Law school.  Someone from that Contracts class actually started a Fanpage on Facebook and I'm sure we were all on it by the end of week 2. 

At any rate, I don't know what I expected his office to look like, and honestly speaking I was still pretty hung up on my essay to think of little else, but I have yet to come across another such personal space. As I walked in, I noticed a suitcase that was practically exploding on the chair by the door. He waved in the direction of the suitcase that looked more like Marry Poppins carpet bag because of the sheer amount of things it was holding, telling me he'd just gotten back from a conference in Singapore.  He'd been back for a fortnight now but the suitcase was still there. Waiting to be taken home and imploding with ties and teabags (?) in the mean while. There were bookshelves that were used for anything but. I think I remember a pair of trainers just casually chilling out on the Pine shelf.  I noticed what would become my favourite piece of his office hysteria as I went to sit down - the carpet surrounding this learned gentleman's table was literally covered in coins. As if it were a wishing well. A coin for each time he'd ask the universe to ensure he wouldn't forget something perhaps. I went to pick a couple to put back on his table. He told me not to bother as he usually picked them up when he went out for a coffee and couldn't find coins anywhere. The logic in our age of wallets eludes me so I'm sticking to my wishing-well story instead. 

I'll be honest, I just wanted an excuse to post a photo of Dylan Moran here.

He ended up giving me some great feedback not just about my essay but also about how to deal with the pressure of Law School. Definitely one those lecturers that could define or change the attitude of his students not just towards a subject but life in general. My time slot was up before I knew it and just as I was closing the door behind me, I saw him blankly staring at his bookshelf almost expecting it to throw something at him as the coins on the carpet caught the fading rays of the setting sun and gleamed farewell. I couldn't help but smile as I closed the door on the absent minded professor.