The Point of Me

So after a long and much needed hiatus in New Zealand, Im back in Canberra. I went to University here for 3 years, but now that I'm back and looking for work, the city feels so different. I guess I'm looking at it with fresh eyes and outside the context of campus life. The move was disorientating at first. Almost as if growing up was no longer an option. But I've settled down some. Took my stuff out of storage, got a nice rental, have a routine centred around finding a job etc. But there's still a weird 'in transit' feeling.  In a sort of new city, without close family and friends that actually work and have a purpose to their day, i can't I can't help but wonder, what is the point of me? Taken out of my familial home, without the usual household errands and chores, and out work, this period in my life has made it awful easy to examine this small existence of mine. What is the point of me? What void do I fill? Not to say that employment is everything but there is much to be said about feeling needed. About feeling like you have a purpose in life. That certain things can't be done without you. That you matter. That you are indispensable. 

I was discussing this with a good friend of mine. She's been there too. She likened this stage to that on a video game. The one in which you're in flux until you collect the right amount of energy to jump up to a higher or another level. She got a job at a snazzy law firm straight out of college and she reckons she jumped too early.She thinks that she should've perhaps enjoyed the transit phase more. She has since left the law firm, but her story, has lent some perspective to mine. It hasn't really helped with my general feeling of listlessness but it's reassured me at some level that this 'in flux' stage serves some kind of purpose. That perhaps one day, I'll be burning with so much ambition, I'll wish for a simpler time. Or perhaps this quiet time will inform my later ambitions. I don't know. But it sounds like it's stock take time.